Hey Elise // by Elise Hu

This is how Eva and I spend a lot of our time together.

To be clear, I think nursing is awesome. I truly enjoy providing both physical and emotional sustenance for Baby E in one loving act. It’s really no sweat, either, since Eva is my only baby. My Chinese great-grandmother nursed seven (7) babies in total, earning her the respect of many generations and lasting evidence of her hard work — mom tells me my great-grannie could actually fling her drooping boobs over her shoulders. Impressive on many levels, that lady.

But the difference between nursing a baby and pumping milk for a baby is like the difference between visiting Venice and going to the Olive Garden. Pumping is tedious and soulless and in my case, always really awkward when I emerge from the lactation station and make eye contact with the national security guys who surely overheard my pump as they were discussing war and Syria and what not.

I am glad I had a daughter, because maybe one day she will have a baby of her own, and she, too, can experience the wonder and the weirdness that is motherhood.

It looks like I have several friends with babies on the way so I will interrupt my usual nonsense blogging to offer a quick guide on some baby industrial complex items we’ve found useful — and not so useful — during Baby Eva’s first six weeks. Bottom line: You don’t need that much stuff to raise a happy baby. That said, there are some items that really come in handy.

Eva’s Favorite Things

There’s Eva in one of her favorite swaddle blankets, behind the beagle of course.

Swaddle Designs Ultimate Receiving Blanket
There are Miracle Blankets out there (too many velcro parts, pain in the ass in the middle of the night) and something called Halo Sleep Sacks that other moms really love. But we have preferred a straight up well-made swaddle blanket. Nothing else wraps Eva as tightly and keeps her feeling as secure as her Swaddle Designs brand blankets, which somehow are the perfect size for swaddling and are made with material that wraps really tightly. Eva loves these. They are pretty inexpensive on Amazon and easy to use.

Fisher Price Cradle Swing
There are lots of swings out there but most of my friends recommended this one, and Eva loves it. It has all sorts of fun swing settings and music, etc etc. Eva hangs out in her swing during the day and sometimes gets in there to help her nap.

The Nap Nanny Chill
It’s at a 30 degree angle that babies seem to like (especially babies who like sleeping in car seats), and really lightweight so it’s easy to move from room to room or even take on trips. Eva sleeps on this for naps and at most evenings, too. I hear it’s especially good for gassy babies because lying flat on your back after a big meal never feels awesome.

Other Useful Items: Bottles with slow flow nipples, lots of baby socks, footie pajamas, contoured changing pad and cover, diaper genie, a good glider (try them out before purchasing because you want to like the movement) and a strong electric breast pump are well worth the money.

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Eva time!

I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth but I have been tied up with caring for the tiny human and watching five seasons of Friday Night Lights in one week.

I’ve also started a daily Eva Tumblr so that her Oma and Opa (who live in Holland) can keep up with her rapid growth and her daily activities. If you’re interested, follow us at EvaEveryday.Tumblr.com

Well folks, the fetus is now a tiny human. She (yes, it turns out fetus was a lady) is now home from the hospital after a quick delivery and a less-than-24-hour stay. I awoke Saturday morning with contractions — which happened to be the same day my parents were getting to town from Amsterdam to support us postpartum — and by Saturday night, Eva Blythe Hu-Stiles made her grand entrance.

Like a good journalist baby, she waited until right up against her deadline to arrive. (She was due on Sunday.) The metrics: 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 22 inches long. Full head of black hair (which the nurse and midwife made me very aware of while she was crowning) and dark blue eyes, for now.

As for the name, I just needed to pick something simple that any of my Chinese relatives could pronounce, hence Eva with the Spanish pronunciation. Blythe is after Matty’s late paternal grandmother, who worked in a newsroom and was a supporter of the civil rights movement way before it was cool.

Just as she was awesome as a fetus, Eva has been awesome as a baby, sleeping for long stretches, eating lots and passing all her random medical tests with flying colors. Thanks to all of you for your love and support during the pregnancy, as I know the real ride is just beginning.

P.S. While she’s in town, my hobbyist photographer mom is taking some fun shots of Eva, which inspired me to start Eva Everyday, a tumblr that posts a select Eva photo each day. Check it out if you’re interested.

An ongoing debate. (Photo by Denise DeBelius)

I’m now at that stage of pregnanthood where I feel like the Kool-Aid man, about to bust through a wall going “OH YEEEEAH.”  But Fetus is not scheduled to arrive for another two weeks, which means I’m maintaining my regular work schedule, minus the air travel. 

For those who have been through this sort of thing or are just curious, here’s what we know: The baby’s active and his head is down, in the optimal position for delivery. He/she is still getting properly oxygenated, and midwife is estimating he/she is at about seven pounds right now. (It didn’t stop some various pals from guessing birth weights at 27 lbs, however. Stiles data-vizzed our pals guesses for birth date, weight and sex.)

Really healthy and smooth situation over here. I haven’t had any back pain or skin weirdness and usually my shoes fit fine. (The exception is after my chili cheese dog binges, which are normal in my diet.) We are generally set with our baby stuff, thanks in large part to the two showers from this summer, and my online shopping problem.

I switched to midwives instead of an OBGYN practice about four months into the pregnancy. (If you are interested in the reasons why, reach out to me anytime.) The midwives are fantastic and they catch babies at the hospital, so there are surgeons nearby should they be required. But our hope is to let everything go as spontaneously and medication-free as possible. Now we wait.

The Fetus has yet to arrive, but he/she is pretty lucky to have so many aunties and uncles around. Not to be outdone by the Texas BBQ Shower, my old friends Sudeep, Beam, Fiscus and Andrew (some of those are not their legal names, natch) hosted a travel-themed fete in our new hometown of DC to prepare our future jetsetter for all his (or her) adventures. This was fun times, y’all. And it’s already earned many superlatives, like “the most irreverent/funny/inappropriate” shower that guests had ever been to.

Instead of the traditional all-girl affair, my closest gay pals joined the gal pals in this fete for Fetus. So we were DQ-treated to such entertainment as Friend Dave, a veteran DQ employee, explaining the art of making a Buster or Dilly bar from scratch (it’s all in the wrist), internationally-themed cupcakes and food, lots of Mommy-Loves-Vodka jokes, airline mini-bottles for party favors, and raucous debate about the ethics of circumcision. (And apparently there are different ways to cut — the “bald eagle” versus the “shaggy dog.” Yep.)

As an added bonus, Friend Denise is not only a friggin awesome baker (her German chocolate cake was a huge hit), but a talented photographer. She took some pics to show off all the detail these hosts and hostesses put into throwing a truly fun, boozy afternoon. Thanks again my friends. We’re so grateful.

Because I’ve spent most my career as a visual journalist, photographers are pretty much my favorite people. In television, I got to work with some of the best of them around and it made me sorta picky about shooters. So when it came time to get married, the only person I wanted to shoot our Amsterdam wedding (besides war photographer Damon Winter, of course) was Channing Johnson, my effortlessly talented, immensely humble photojournalist pal from college who I got to know during my senior year, when I harangued him into shooting stills for a terrible documentary I made. His work never disappoints.

Channing is a nostalgia-junkie like me, and we just like hanging out with one another, so when I told him we were going to be in Boston a couple of weeks ago he offered to join us at MIT and just shoot a few bump photos to mark this whole family-expansion experiment. What he got, of course, was way more than we expected and I’m so grateful.

I’m constantly awed by the generosity and kindess of my loved ones, but especially my gal pals, who are a group of gorgeous women who are constantly giving of their time and talent. It was in full display on Saturday, when I returned to Texas where eight of my girlfriends hosted an amazing, classy baby shower that did not involve cheesy games or awkward gift opening sessions and was so-well orchestrated that my pal Blake called it “a sight to behold, those eight women putting that shower together.” Another pal, Brett, joked, “It was like watching a group of Amish women put up a barn.”

How awesome are these hostesses? Let me count the ways: I learned Saturday that Melissa put together an idea board with the color themes and plans for decor (including some badass balloons she ordered from Etsy) so that all eight women could coordinate according to a general plan, Virginia had my fave chicken salad flown-in on dry ice from Shreveport, and knowing how much I love Texas BBQ, they arranged to get Franklin BBQ (best brisket in Central Texas) picked up for barbecue slider sandwiches. Laura made insane cake balls. Nisha opened up her perfect party home and headed up an “optional craft”. Crystal, knowing it has been torture for me to abstain from drinking, created “mocktails” so that no one else would be drinking, either. As a surprise treat, the girls got their geek baby-daddy’s data visualizations printed onto onesies.

Photographer Callie Richmond, who shot for us at The Texas Tribune, stopped in for photos. I’m so glad she did, because this baby shower was the shizz.

Epilogue

As our spankin’ new Boeing was descending into the US after a couple of days getting raped by mosquitoes in Honduras, I was suddenly awakened by the most searing pain I’ve ever felt. It was only on one side of my head, somewhere around my brow and behind my right eye. I later learned it had to do with sinus pressure and the quickly changing altitude of the jet. Apparently I was sick and congested and only then, as my eye teared uncontrollably and I curled up in wrenching pain, that I realized my sinuses were THAT backed up.

24 hours later I was checked into the hospital because they seem to take things like phlegmy lungs and not-breathing-very-well quite seriously when you are six months pregnant. I had to watch Jeopardy cause I didn’t expect to get admitted, so I didn’t pack any diversions. I also got wheeled around in a stupid gown and padded booties because it’s hospital policy to not let people walk on their own. The X-ray tech gave me two blankets to cover up before our wheelchair journey. “There are a lot of pervs in this hospital,” she said. I laughed. “No, I’m serious,” she said, without any irony. Yikes.

But anyway, the time in Honduras was fun. The food was surprisingly delicious. Our resort complex boasted the only real BBQ pit/smoker on the island. Excellent pulled pork.

Me with my Mommy when I was one and a half.

This Mother’s Day I am feeling especially grateful for my mama, who’s been as amazing as usual as I confront becoming a mom myself. Granted, I’m probably TOO attached to my mom; we travel together a few times a year, talk every morning and I seek her out for everything from cooking lessons via Skype to answers to thorny life questions when I need wisdom/understanding. (When I told her about my ambivalence after learning I was preggo, her response was, “Well, if the baby comes out cute you could probably sell it on the black market for at least 40 grand.”)

This is all to say that I’ve never under-appreciated the connection between moms and their children. So in preparation for this fall’s arrival of Baby Hu-Stiles, I sought out advice and product recommendations from some of my favorite-girlfriends-who-are-also-moms. I’m overwhelmed that these brilliant, beautiful women — one who I’ve known since 5th grade — took the time to share these personal insights with me, and with you. Happy Mother’s Day.

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