Inventions of Sean Blumberg, Revisited

My recent tumble into a marathon 84-episode viewing of Felicity, the series, just ended. (Thank God, because I really need my life back.) Clearly I have a few sistas out there who have slipped into the same situation and felt compelled to blog about seeing a decade-old coming-of-age TV series all over again, so I’ll contribute just one post to the revived pantheon to Felicity.

"What if this pen cap was a treat?" Sean Blumberg, as played by Greg Grunberg on WB's Felicity.

Among my favorite running gags on the show are the nonsense ideas cooked up by Sean Blumberg, the random guy who was 27 years old but hanging out with college kids. So this time around, I actually paused to write down his ideas and inventions as they were introduced on the show. To wit:

Lact-Oh’s
Milkless cereal. There’s milk baked into every O. So you just add water, and the water hydrates the evaporated milk.

Bagel Knobs
Like doughnut holes, but bagel holes. And you can inject fillings into them like cream cheese, butter, lox spread. “It’s gonna be a big, huge item,” said Sean.

Freshman Packs
Boxes for college freshman filled with headache medicine, Subway maps, condoms — assorted things that might come in handy for a new college student in New York. Originally sold for $15, Sean wound up actually selling these boxes when, at Julie’s suggestion, he adjusted the price to $5.

Smoothaise
A brand new condiment. He considered using other names, like WasabiGoo, Lardspread and Mustooze.

Shream
One sugar cube with cream mixed in.

Marshmallow Rotisserie
A $40 marshmallow roaster. 10 spits, motorized with a built-in heat source, and portable.

The Rubber Bands
Condoms with packages that play songs when you open them. They play Happy Birthday, Pomp and Circumstance, all the big occassions.

Flavored Pen Caps
Students sit around in class chewing their pen caps. What if the pen cap was a treat?

Shrimp Yogurt
There are no savory flavors of yogurt. There’s strawberry, cherry, vanilla — but no shrimp.

Shoe Covers, or Shoe Jackets
Dress shoes are so uncomfortable. These were leather covers you could slip on OVER your sneakers so you could go out and be comfortable, but your footwear appeared to be dressy.

I THINK I got ’em all. But send me a note if I missed one. I know I’m not the only one re-watching the entire series.

4 thoughts on “Inventions of Sean Blumberg, Revisited

  1. OMG, did you ever see the Bantam Bagels on shark tank? They are bagel knobs IRL. They were sold at Starbucks. I am rewatching Felicity right now and my mind exploded when Sean invented bagel knobs.

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